I'm not who I was.
This morning as I rolled over in my bed to check the time on my phone, Periscope beckoned. Typically my brain is in no condition to take in any extras at that point of day, but I had awakened uncharacteristically not-too-dizzy, and praise be to God I had gotten 6 hours of sleep. I indulged.
Chrystal’s broadcast was based around rest being worship, and it’s such a good word.
[Now, y’all know that I LONG for rest. Although I do go through my binges of complaining, this is not a whine, but simply a statement of facts. I typically don’t get much sleep (for which we have explored all avenues medical, lifestyle, supplemental and otherwise), and when I do sleep it is not often restful. Although I must give God glory for the bit of improvement that I have received since beginning this whole process on my jaw. Awakening to choking and gasping has been greatly reduced.]
Here’s the thing. In the past several years of my life especially, I feel as though God has been teaching me to rest in the waking… something that doesn’t come naturally for the personality of a “doer” and box-checker. I’ll be honest: there are times where my inability to “do” whether it be lack of sleep or other health issues, has been God’s great grace to me to force me to rest and let Him do. I get to
be pinned down kicking and screaming sit back and see God work where I might not have let Him in edgewise.
The other day in my quiet time, I was listening to the Parable of the Talents. It got me thinking: For whatever reason, I have been given only a little rest. Now, I don’t mean what I’m about to say in a legalistic, if I just performed the right formula my rest-life would instantaneously change sort of way, but could it be that there are aspects of my restlessness that are in part due to my poor stewardship with the little rest that I have been given? In my waking hours at least, I would have to err toward probably. Not entirely, but in part. Yes, the rain falls on the just and the unjust, sometimes due to no fault of our own. Other times the rain falls with purpose in order to wash the junk right off and to invest in the growth of the life-seeds that have been buried.
Sometimes, rest is doing the work. And yes, resting well is worship.
“For the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has said: “You will be delivered by returning and resting; your strength will lie in quiet confidence. But you are not willing.” Isaiah 30:15
1 Far away in the depths of my spirit tonight
Rolls a melody sweeter than psalm;
In celestial-like strains it unceasingly falls
O’er my soul like an infinite calm.
Peace! peace! wonderful peace,
Coming down from the Father above;
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray,
In fathomless billows of love.
2 What a treasure I have in this wonderful peace,
Buried deep in the heart of my soul;
So secure that no power can mine it away,
While the years of eternity roll. [Refrain]
3 I am resting tonight in this wonderful peace,
Resting sweetly in Jesus’ control;
For I’m kept from all danger by night and by day,
And His glory is flooding my soul. [Refrain]
4 And I know when I rise to that city of peace,
Where the Author of peace I shall see,
That one strain of the anthems the ransomed will sing,
In that heavenly kingdom shall be: [Refrain]
5 O soul, are you here without comfort or rest,
Walking down the rough pathway of time?
Make Jesus your friend ere the shadows grow dark;
O accept this sweet peace so sublime. [Refrain]