Swim Club: Living on the Edge.
We all know the pool rules.
- Don’t eat for 30 minutes before swimming, lest you cramp up and drown. …unless you’re at a swim meet. In which case, carbo-load, jump immediately into the pool, and exert yourself to the maximum extent. Rinse. Repeat.
- Never dive into the shallow end, lest your head meets the concrete…… unless you’re at a swim meet and you’re in a relay or swimming a 25. In which case, dive right into the 4 ft water, full force. (But only if you’ve been trained to dive shallowly).
- Never draw on yourself with permanent marker. (Or in my house growing up, not with any kind of marker. Or pen. Or pencil…) lest you get chemical or lead poisoning… …unless you’re at a swim meet. In which case you really need to have 2 permanent markers on hand at all times, keep track of your events on your arm or your leg, identify yourself on your shoulder for the sake of the timers, and optionally draw fun things such as your team mascot, or the ever popular “eat my bubbles” on your back.
- Don’t pee in the pool…
- …there’s no “unless” after this one. Just don’t. Ever. (Lest you die? Well, maybe not. But still. Just don’t. That’s just too adventurous.)