I'm not who I was.
Have you seen those internet quizzes that you can take for fun running rampant around social media? They provide answers to things such as “How many kids should you have?” “What is your hidden talent?” “What color are you?” “What should your career have been?” I recently even took a “What’s your IQ?” internet test. It said that I have an IQ of 160… I’m an Einstein! (And being the smart cookie that I supposedly am, I have ascertained that far too many people have scored at least “brilliant” for me to put any stock in the test’s declaration whatsoever.)
I’ve decided that, with all of my qualifications, (which, aside from the internet IQ quiz, is precisely nil), I’m going to make up my own quiz.
It’s the internet, so that seems reasonable.
In light of recent events (a.k.a. the so-far-snowless snow day), I shall base this quiz off of the weather.
(I should warn you, this is the somewhat snarky version, not the “You are all sunshine and fizzy pops!” version. However, it IS meant to be light-hearted and enjoyable, so please take it as such. This in no way is directed at any particular person).
What Does Your Response to Weather Say About You?
If the weatherman says that there is a chance of snow, but it doesn’t snow, do you:
A- Declare the weatherman to be a blooming idiot
B- Complain that the weatherman is never right… what does he get paid for anyway?
C- Whine about how it was SUPPOSED to snow
D- Decide that mother nature must hate you, or at least your area
E- Renounce ever doing the snow dance, wearing your pajamas backwards, or flushing ice down the toilet ever again.
F- “See?! I told you!”
G- Threaten to poke somebody’s eyes out for complaining about the heat in the summer
H- Rejoice… or at least make the most of it!
If you answered:
A- You might have a superiority complex. The weatherman made the best predictions that he could based off of the information that was available and that he is skilled at interpreting as far as the data allows. He probably got a degree in his chosen field. He may even be an “expert”. Unless you have been educated in the same area of study and can produce evidence as to why his or her predictions are inane upon being given the same information prior to the fruition of results, rendering him a “blooming idiot” is clearly out of your expertise.
B- You may be prone to hyperbole. Clearly he isn’t NEVER right or the sun would never shine when he predicted. And by never, I mean not once. Ever. No matter, hunt him down & fire the sucker.
C- You may have control issues sprinkled with a side of presumption & putting words into people’s mouths. When observing weather forecasts, I have heard terms such as “likely” or “possibility”. Here are what those terms mean: a big fat MAYBE. You know what I’ve never heard from a weather man? “SUPPOSED TO“. Weathermen are well aware that the very nature of weather is that it CHANGES. And they usually will plainly state that disclaimer on the air. But we see chance and try to force it to be what we want it to be, and then we rant and rave when it’s not. Fear not, for we also make sure to defer the blame of our unhappiness to someone else.
D- You may play the victim. You may think your circumstances are “special”, and by “special” you mean “set apart to be less fortunate than everyone else”. (This is also one of my all time favorites, because so many of my Christian comrades will shake their fist at the “mother nature” they don’t actually believe in… kind of like our non-Christian pals will shake their fist at the God they don’t believe in. But as long as we are happy, they don’t exist.)
E- You may be apt at manipulation for your personal benefit. You also may have appeared to be a lunatic the night before, but at least you know how to have fun. Maybe we should be friends. But only if you do that snow-dance one more time… oh wait. You renounced it. I guess we can’t be friends. Bummer.
F- You may be seeking validation and attention. Quick, find someone to give you a pat on the back. Are we better now?
G- You may have anger issues. Who pokes peoples eyes out besides The Three Stooges? You might be a pouter too, because the summer’s temperature has nothing to do with the present not-snowing. But go ahead and retaliate.
H- You are an awesome person! We should all be more like you. (You also lucked out, I tired of creating snide responses.)
Alas, we are all only fair-weather friends to the weatherman. Poor weatherman.
Although this post has most definitely been tongue-in-cheek, I have to admit that I do see a correlation in how we respond to whether and the weatherman and in how we respond to our circumstances and God more often than I would like to admit. How we practice our discomfort and disappointment in the little things will often spill over into how we react to discomfort and disappointment in the big things. So don’t take this TOO seriously, but if the shoe fits, by all means, get a new shoe. (Unless your shoe was the “awesome” shoe).
(If you are curious as to my score: all of the above).
Oh look, I see a wintery mix outside my window! Or in the words of my 8 year old, “Look! It’s snow-raining!” Perhaps snowpocalypse 2014 is still a possibility. Pardon me while I try to find more ways to make the most of the situation…