The NewBec

I'm not who I was.

The Plight of a Lab Rat

Sometimes I am a metaphorical guinea pig.ย  Or a lab rat.

Guinea pigs are cuter. Lab rats seem more crafty, so we’ll go with that for now. ๐Ÿ™‚

When one submits to lab rat status, one may expect to encounter any or all of the following scenarios.

(Be sure to read this in your best neutral drug advertisement voice. Be sure to go to the beach or fly a kite while you read it so as to deturr from the depiction of “this is how the risks could turn you into a teenage mutant ninja turtle.”):

  • near collapsible exhaustion after 5 minutes of driving. Or standing. Or thinking.
  • no more than 2 showers in a week (because standing in a shower is just that difficult)
  • too much television for the kidlets in lieu of parental supervision (although I don’t think they mind)
  • the futon may turn itself into a clothes closet for the entire family (aka the laundry got sorted but never put away)
  • the same goes for the dishwasher. (with dishes, not clothes).
  • friends may mutate into chauffeurs
  • responsibility commitments may flake off like a bad sunburn
  • meals may include “whatever is left” or “whatever is easy” or “whatever may survive the zombie apocalypse”
  • the zombie apocalypse could happen, and you may not notice. Or you do notice but the zombies don’t bother you because they take one look and think you have already become a zombie anyway.

Often when being a lab rat, I feel as though I am the split personality of both Pinky & The Brain. A little bit cynical, serious, contemplative (and genius of course), and a little bit comedic, scatterbrained, loopy and down right going crazy.

Just for funsies:

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6 comments on “The Plight of a Lab Rat

  1. rachelanneridge
    June 23, 2013

    HAHA I love Pinky and the Brain! That brought back some memories. How did I never realize it was a Steven Spielberg thing? Huh! On a more serious note, I’m so sorry about your lab rat side effects! You are amazing to deal with all of that AND regular life. I’m praying for you, my friend.

    BTW, I think the “whatever’s easy” in the meal department is one of my problems – no meds needed for that one!! “one skillet wonders” is what I’ve raised my fam on…they don’t even know any better. LOL

    • thenewbec
      June 24, 2013

      I hardly think ramen noodles count as a one-dish meal ๐Ÿ˜‰ The joke’s on me though… it turns out that it is not that easy to clean up when a 2 year old misses his mouth!

  2. Katharine Barrett
    June 23, 2013

    Ha! I can relate! Thanks for the smile, I’m stopping by from Company Girls ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Joyce and Norm
    June 22, 2013

    Oh, friend, how I wish we lived closer. I would totally do your laundry and wash your dishes. Those are my love languages. Odd, I know…laundry and dishes weren’t listed in that book. :p And definitely hang out with your kidlets!! Praying for you.

  4. Dad
    June 22, 2013

    Isn’t that the truth! I’m sorry that you are not doing well, but I totally understand.
    I only pray that you get some help, or God simply does a miracle for you.

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This entry was posted on June 22, 2013 by in Uncategorized and tagged .
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