I'm not who I was.
I am a “doer”. By nature I do not like to be still. I am intentional. I have a checklist. Sometimes if I complete a task not on the list, I write it in for the simple pleasure of crossing it off. I dont often go to the store for the so-called “fun” of browsing. I either know what I want to get and get it or I know what I want to research and gather my information, and I move along. I am not a dawdler. Punctuality is my love-language, and wasting my time is a sure way to get my blood boiling. Quite honestly, I am often one of those people that doesn’t remember how to relax. Stillness makes me uncomfortable.
So much in scripture ties rest and trust together.
“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Recently I was having a conversation with a friend in which she encouraged me to “rest in the hand of God”… which is good encouragement and advice that I often give. He has my best in mind and nothing is a surprise to him. But do you want to know what I wanted to yell in THAT moment on that day? I DONT KNOW HOW TO REST!!!! Not figuratively, not literally. My body doesn’t do it well and my mind isn’t spectacular at it either.
Perhaps sometimes the lack of rest is indicative of a lack of trust. *gut punch* I have been convicted over time that my busy-ness is not entirely pleasing to God. If anything good has come out of my ailments, it is that it forces rest upon me that I wouldn’t otherwise receive.
Over the past year in particular , I have been making an effort to trade some “doing” for some rest. God usually gives me a clue and it is up to me to pray about it and follow through as I am led. Most things I have cut back on are GOOD things. They just aren’t the RIGHT things at this given time. One of those things was choir. Another was a bible study. Presently I am considering going much more minimalistic on my FB account and going back to doing the majority of my “updating” on my blog. These aren’t the only cuts, but they are some of the bigger ones. Ironically they are all things that were once an outlet of worship or relaxation for me that turned into something to “get done”.
I have the tendency to suffocate myself in all the doing. Sometimes I just need room to breathe.
Switching gears to family update mode:
-The weather has been gorgeous and we have been enjoying our Honduran hammock. (Unfortunately, the mosquitos find us as attractive as we find the weather).
-It has been spirit week at school leading up to their annual walk-a-thon fund-raiser. For Crazy Hair Day we did J’s hair in a girly mohawk. One day she got to meet 3 time Olympian Hazel Clark Riley at school. When J got to ask her one question, she asked, “Do you believe in Jesus?” How many of us would make that our priority when speaking to someone of accomplishment… or anyone at all? I’m telling you, I’m humbled with the person God has entrusted us with.
-Kitchen: the floor is down, the walls are painted. Cabinets have been installed & hardware put on. The electrical work is completely done, including working plugs, recessed lighting and pendant lights by the window. The fridge, microwave & dishwasher are in place. And slowly but surely I am using said dishwasher and making homes for items in the cabinets. The granite folks came to do the template today. We (as in our selflessly fantastic volunteers) have been working on finishing the half-wall. There is still crown-moulding to install, as well as kick-plates & trim. There will be paint touch-up to do. After the counters are installed (it will still likely be a couple more weeks) it will be time for the back-splash. I am just hoping that the counters & sink are in soon enough for me to make Cheeks’ birthday cake. (He will be 2 at the end of the month. *sniff*). Fortunately we are having the cake a week later than his birthday, so hopefully that will buy us some time. In the meantime, the kids have been enjoying playing in the boxes:
-My MRI came back normal, as suspected.